Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
