Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
