I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
