I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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