Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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