just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
