i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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