i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
