i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
