no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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