i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
