The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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