One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
birth control should be required to get into college
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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