therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
