just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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