Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I pour the whiskey from now on
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
