New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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