he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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