am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Randomize
