Your mouth is God's brothel.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
