Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
