I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
