I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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