ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
