Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
