There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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