Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
