I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
