If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
