FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
