You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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