i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
