Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
