def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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