My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
