i think i have herpe
just one?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
