Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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