i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
