My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
