u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
