so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
