I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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