i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
