I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I wish life had little blips of pornography
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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