I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
