Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I wear drunk well.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
