I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
