Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
