Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
