You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
