Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
