I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
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