It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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