just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
